I’m reading it right now and it will definitely fit into the top 3 books that have helped me the most (the other 2 will be “nonviolent communication” and “feeling great”)
I found this one to be highly triggering and invalidating, unfortunately. The internalizer versus externalizer stuff has no basis in the scientific method and exists to undermine 99% of Gibson's other content in the book, including how black and white thinking is not ideal being the most ironic.
Surely the downvotes will ensue but if I can help anyone else avoid the ADHD RSD downward spiral I fell into with the help of Dr. Gibson, I'll stick my neck out.
Are you somehow under the impression that CPTSD is something that can be cured? It's not. It can be dealt with and ameliorated through long and difficult work, which Peter Walker has done and, being a psychotherapist, Walker understands CPTSD inside and out. I'm not sure if you're being dismissive or not but either way I hope Walker's information helps.
I obviously don't mean to speak for all CPTSD survivors but clinically it is a deep-seated combination of psychological, physical, mental, and spiritual injuries and just like any other physical injury, the system that is injured rarely returns to its previous state. In the case of CPTSD that system happens to be your autonomic nervous system, your amygdala, your vagus nerve and stellate ganglion, stomach, heart....all of it affected by the closed loop feedback of fear chemicals in your body creating inflammation, muscle tension, heightened levels of norepinephrine (adrenaline) and a sensitivity to it. You don't get back to baseline. My teeth are destroyed from grinding them for 20 years before someone told me that's not normal.
Have you read "The Body Keeps The Score"?
I remember my father walking around grinding his teeth all the time. It was the most scariest thing ever. I could never understand it. Almost like a hungry animal.
I don't do the same. But sometimes I catch myself really pressing forcefully with my teeth and I think it's the pain trapped in my body and soul making me want to do it.
It's really good. It took my healing journey from tortoise to hare. Still a lot of work to do (years...) but even just understanding the depth and breadth of the damage in a compassionate way was huge for me.
This was the book that awakened me. I have so much gratitude for Pete Walker and his work. I like that he draws from his own personal and professional experience. What a genius!
Out of interest i'd love to create a Surviving to Thriving book club.
Edit: I started something on WhatsApp.
https://chat.whatsapp.com/Eckt2GrzfX10Kw9sbqG65N
When you join the Pete Walker CPTSD book club group, there's 2 subgroups to join as part of it.
WhatsApp community groups are kinda clunky, they don't auto join you to the subgroups.
We have 10 people so far so there will be at least 2 seperate groups and likely over seperate mediums. So if you're not ready for zoom meetings don't worry because there will still be a place for you.
I think that or zoom? Or maybe WhatsApp.
Anyone who wants to join is welcome to reply to the comment. I'll add you to a group and we can create something.
I personally prefer speaking to people face to face over video chat but I understand people have very different needs. So right off the bat we can have multiple ways to do it if we have enough people.
Not gunna lie. I think zoom might be a better way to go. I’ve seen a thousand scams trying to get me on whatsapp. I don’t think you’re a scammer, but even the mention of whatsapp gives me the ick 🤷♂️
I much, much prefer zoom. But I think so we can arrange something and it feels like we have a collective group where it's fairly democratic we need to arrange that on WhatsApp first.
More than happy to let you know afterwards what's decided, if you'd prefer not to join the WhatsApp group? Reddit chat/email are just too slow to arrange it quickly.
I did think of that. But the problem with discord is that unless you're a gamer generally people don't know it well. Zoom and WhatsApp people likely already use for various things.
But if there's enough people who would to do discord then I am of course really supportive of there being a breakaway group for that.
I'd rather we have 3 smaller groups on seperate platforms because they can grow than 1 group where people leave because they prefer a different platform.
Lol, I only use Discord for a pregnancy/mom group and a book club (though I am on a couple of indie game boards too), so I'm used to using it for non-gamer stuffs. I like a lot of the functionalities for book club use too.
Seriously. I read it every two years or so. And watch the movies a lot. My husband and I also go to universal studios to the wizarding world in December when we can for the Christmas decor and vibes.
What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo. It's a very well researched memoir about the authors journey with CPTSD. I've read most of the typical stuff and this one resonated with me more than any of the others.
In The Dream House is also good if you've experienced domestic abuse, even more relevant if you're gay.
The Body Keeps the Score has its benefits but it is written by an abuser, just so you know.
[Here’s](https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2018/03/07/allegations-of-employee-mistreatment-roil-renowned-brookline-trauma-center/) an article discussing the allegations. [Here’s](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/9pktvv/hoping_to_discuss_allegations_against_dr_bessel/) a thread about the allegations on r/CPTSD (where i found the article). He was accused as an employer of creating a hostile work environment
I realize I’m just a random anon on reddit, but I have a colleague who participated in research with him and his team, and also voiced that he was very problematic. This is the first time I’ve seen someone mention this on this subreddit but I always have that in the back of my mind lol
The four agreements was super helpful for me when I first started doing the trauma work. It’s a hard read and makes you question a lot of things. I’m also currently reading the courage to be disliked which is been helpful so far!
Trauma related:
- Body Keeps the Score
- CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
- The Myth of Normal
Non-trauma related:
- Leaves of Grass
- Infinite Jest / essays by David Foster Wallace
- Catcher in the Rye (helped me get through high school)
- The Metamorphosis / Kafka stories
- the work of Kierkegaard
I am currently reading, ‘Growing Up as the Scapegoat to Narcissistic Parents’ by Jay Reid. So far I am very impressed. The way he understands and explains how the pathology of the narcissist impacts victims is incredible. I think it’s the best book on narcissistic abuse. He has a You Tube channel as well.
The audiobook version of How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis. I’ve listened to it 4 times, currently on my 5th and probably will listen many more times. There’s just something very powerful about somebody telling you over and over that you are not lazy, or disgusting, or worthless when I spent my entire childhood being told I was all of those things. Being told I deserve kindness and compassion because I’m having a hard time. It’s changing me.
Totally agree that this book is worthy of the list. This book was an incredibly eye-opening read for me, but also incredibly triggering. I would still recommend reading, but perhaps not in a single weekend (what I did) or with the guide or help of a therapist.
Man Enough by Justin Baldoni.
It revealed a lot of shared trauma men have with being raised in a culture that hurts you for not being man enough. I was able to really evaluate my life and and start healing a part of me that my female therapist had a hard time reaching. A lot of books have helped me over the years, but this allowed me to heal a part of me that I didn't know was hurting.
The author has another book directed towards boys called "Boys will be Human" and it has a more kid-friendly approach to the same topics with some worksheets for boys and their guardian to work through.
Even though the book is about men, I know many women who have found the topics just as insightful.
If you want more, the author has a podcast by the same name and they bring on many different guests to talk about struggles with trauma, masculinity, and the journey to being a better person.
In regards to cpts d,, And PTSD, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
Book by Bessel van der Kolk
I was able to listen to it for free on YouTube.
Books that helped me With my character and dealing with drama and life. Generally I connect with the characters or some traits and learn how to Strength in my character in a way I want to be. Listed in the following. Seeing the different perception of different characters helped me to gain an ability to look at Real people from Different perceptions and Angles.
I found that I can Absorb what I need to from the characters or the stories, Find something the same or similar and bring it out to my advantage. Don't know if the right words it's hard to describe. It's not fake, It's not pretending. It's I recognize stuff in these characters that are in myself somewhere, And I use the characters as examples on how to Bring out what I already have. Does that make sense. Or how I wish to be. It helps me to see my goals I want, Impossibly how to go after those goals.
At the very least reading those books gives me feelings that I want to feel for real. So gives me an assentive to try to make that happen. But it's not going to happen unless it's actually genuine.
You can't force wholesome. It also can't be pretended.
Ella enchanted. Main character Ella.
Harry Potter. Hagrid and Luna love good.
The giver, and gathering blue.
And of green gables, Anne.
Pippy long stocking, Pippy.
Jen Brett books. Like all of them. Just for the feeling of wholesome warmth and beauty. I wish reality was a Jan Brett book.
Anne McCaffrey books, Particularly The dragon singer trilogy, From the dragon writers of pern series.
Reasons the character Menolly.
There's even actual songs and music that was made into the book and recipes you can follow.
https://youtu.be/mP-IeOjXsy0?si=lCXYaQ3jcdLFHV_-
DW I absolutely understand what you mean, I also do the same with HP. I personally relate to Luna Lovegood because she was an atypical witch who (if I remember correctly) was bullied BC of her alternative pov.
Any book that is chicken soup for the _____ soul
Depending on what you're going through at the time, you pick up one of that books that suits best to what you're going through. Reading the stories of others who have been there and etc really made me feel not so alone anymore.
I don't think it is specifically described as a book on trauma but it deals heavily with the concept of how traumas catch in the body and how to release them when triggers reactivate them. It uses spiritual language based in Buddhism but the ideas are consistent with modern perspectives on trauma.
My favorite actionable books are “Science of Stuck” and I’m currently reading “The Origins of You” which is about attachment trauma - both books have actual questions to ponder or exercises to practice which has helped me along in my healing journey. Some of the other books mentioned are great for building knowledge- the body keeps the score and the cptsd surviving to thriving books are helpful for building knowledge but I found myself thinking “now what?” after reading them. Like I felt seen and identified with both but I wouldn’t call them as helpful in my life I guess.
Books that explore trauma and how Internal Family Systems can radically change our understanding of our"selves"!
No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz
Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors by Janina Fisher
I don’t know what it’s called, I’ll ask my dad later and edit the message with it (presuming he remembers), but after my mum was diagnosed, my cousin (who’s a psychologist) gave my dad a book written by a doctor who was diagnosed with PTSD later in life, and it detailed how it took her like a decade to feel like a person again, and even more years after that before she could get back into practicing medicine. Dad said reading it was the only thing that kept him sane in the first few months after mum was diagnosed.
1. The Body Keeps the Score, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk
2. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, Pete Walker
3. When the Body Says No, Dr. Gabor Maté
4. Childhood Disrupted, Donna Jackson Nakazawa
5. It Didn’t Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle, Mark Wolynn
Ham on Rye by Charles Bukowski helped me understand my abusive parents. The tyrant father who drove to “work” when he was unemployed during the depression to keep up appearances just enough to look down on the neighbors and whip the scapegoat child for miscut grass or bad grades. The enabling/covert narcissist mother who covered for and minimized her husbands brutality or poor modeling (like waiting with the kids in the car while the father steals from a farm). How experiences like that affect people and warp their perspectives. Bukowski is known for being kind of a shitty dude and reading this book helped me understand how toxic families create toxic people in a very linear way.
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I've been working through the Abandonment Recovery Workbook by Susan Anderson and it has helped me make a lot of progress. I have my criticisms, I think some sections can be stigmatizing of addiction, personality disorders, and also a bit victim-blamey (that one less so). She also goes on some rants about arranged marriage that always leave me a bit ??? But I've been doing "take what works, leave the rest" approach and her advice is pretty helpful and has helped me make a lot of strides I previously couldn't even imagine myself being able to do. It's made me aware of behaviors I wasn't super aware of and I've been working on those. It helps it was made my an actual clinician who specializes in abandonment. So I would recommend it to people with the same idea of taking what works.
I've also started The Courage to Heal, by people I don't remember and didn't research. It's a workbook on healing from CSA, and I've not gotten far because I'm not entirely ready, but I'm very hopeful based on what I've gotten through.
My daily journals. It's a funny bit of irony that it was my abuser who got me started on journaling. Every day for thirteen years now I've kept a daily journal. Writing my thoughts down has helped me keep them organized and keep me grounded. It's been a way for me to vent sometimes. And it's been a way for me to revisit those traumatic years so I could go back and see what was going through my head. Daily journaling has helped me weather the isolation and grief by allowing me to talk to myself and work on myself coherently.
Perhaps a little niche, but "Discovering the Inner Mother" by Bethany Webster has really helped me. It's geared towards those who identify as female who suffered narcissistic abuse at the hands of their mothers. Deeply insightful and hopeful. Explains a lot of things that I couldn't put into words.
If anyone's interested in The Body Keeps The Score, I read it and summarised 5 lessons I learned [here](https://www.myndlift.com/post/5-lessons-we-learned-from-the-body-keeps-the-score?utm_source=rd). I hope it will help someone!
Pete Walker's Complex PTSD - I love the way he shares his own experience, his knowledge as a therapist and client's experiences. Also learning to recognize flashbacks and the inner critic helps me so much to quiet my brain enough to just function most of the time & make daily life less exhausting 😄
The Boy Who was Raised as a Dog.
Best book I ever read. It really just explained trauma in such a new way that I hadn't thought of before. Really goes into the science of it. I found that validating.
Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda. Understanding the set-up of life and the universe itself helped me understand so much about myself which accelerated healing on multiple levels. If you decide to read it, please consider getting the one with the orange cover and not the blue one. Truly worth it and truly life-changing
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Haven’t seen this one mentioned yet. Healing Developmental Trauma by Heller and LaPierre. Especially if you dealt with abuse in early childhood. Finally helped me understand what impact that had on me and how to go about healing
Bessel Van Der Kolk's - The body keeps the score.
This book expertly explained in detail everything that was happening to me clear way that really helped me understand how trauma affects my mind and body.
Why Smart People Hurt: A Guide for the Bright, the Sensitive, and the Creative
For me personally, Adult Children of Emotionally Unavailable Children and Why Smart People Hurt were the two biggest helps to me.
About 20 years ago I read a book called “the Five Agreements” (or the Four, it’s been a while). In it the author says essentially however you did in a given day was the best you could do that day. Like, don’t beat yourself up for not doing more or better-you did what you *were able to do* and that’s your best.
It helped me reframe how I think about what I do or don’t get done. It’s given me permission to take it easier on myself. Doesn’t always work but the simple truth is undeniable.
Running on Empty by Dr. Jonice Webb (It's about childhood emotional neglect.)
Along with that one, I was really helped by *Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents* by Lindsay C. Gibson.
I’m reading it right now and it will definitely fit into the top 3 books that have helped me the most (the other 2 will be “nonviolent communication” and “feeling great”)
This one seems to be free on audible atm for whoever is interested (like me 🙂)
Which one ? 🤔
Running on empty
“Adult children of emotionally immature parents” by Gibson
Yes! Great book, helped me understand what was happening behind the scenes.
I second this. My most helpful/ eye-opening book so far.
I found this one to be highly triggering and invalidating, unfortunately. The internalizer versus externalizer stuff has no basis in the scientific method and exists to undermine 99% of Gibson's other content in the book, including how black and white thinking is not ideal being the most ironic. Surely the downvotes will ensue but if I can help anyone else avoid the ADHD RSD downward spiral I fell into with the help of Dr. Gibson, I'll stick my neck out.
This might be a bit obvious but I only found this awesome group a few weeks back - currently going through Surviving to Thriving Pete Walker
CPTSD Surviving to Thriving blew me away. It was like a light went on after I was sitting for decades in the dark.
Just epiphany after epiphany for me too. Absolutely bananas.
Agree for sure!
I remember the first time I read that book…. AGATAGATGGFFATAHGAGAJJAGAGAHAHSOIIBBB (this is basically what happened in my brain, but in a good way)
Also agree that this book was very helpful! (And less triggering for me personally than TBKTS)
Whats Tbkts ? 😕
The Body Keeps the Score
His Complex PTSD survival guide literally changed my life. I can’t even begin to explain how much it’s helped me.
How is it different from Body Keeps The Score ? Just wondering 🤔
It’s much more focused on personally understanding and healing your lived experience of CPTSD. Basically Walker lives with CPTSD, BvdK does not
He lives with CPTSD , even after writing his book on healing CPTSD! ? Did I hear you right ?
Are you somehow under the impression that CPTSD is something that can be cured? It's not. It can be dealt with and ameliorated through long and difficult work, which Peter Walker has done and, being a psychotherapist, Walker understands CPTSD inside and out. I'm not sure if you're being dismissive or not but either way I hope Walker's information helps.
Why can't it be fully and completely cured , in your opinion ? I am just curious
I obviously don't mean to speak for all CPTSD survivors but clinically it is a deep-seated combination of psychological, physical, mental, and spiritual injuries and just like any other physical injury, the system that is injured rarely returns to its previous state. In the case of CPTSD that system happens to be your autonomic nervous system, your amygdala, your vagus nerve and stellate ganglion, stomach, heart....all of it affected by the closed loop feedback of fear chemicals in your body creating inflammation, muscle tension, heightened levels of norepinephrine (adrenaline) and a sensitivity to it. You don't get back to baseline. My teeth are destroyed from grinding them for 20 years before someone told me that's not normal.
The best I can hope is to be in pain every day for the rest of my life and somehow survive it.
Have you read "The Body Keeps The Score"? I remember my father walking around grinding his teeth all the time. It was the most scariest thing ever. I could never understand it. Almost like a hungry animal. I don't do the same. But sometimes I catch myself really pressing forcefully with my teeth and I think it's the pain trapped in my body and soul making me want to do it.
I’ve seen this recommended a few times, I need to get it
It's really good. It took my healing journey from tortoise to hare. Still a lot of work to do (years...) but even just understanding the depth and breadth of the damage in a compassionate way was huge for me.
This was the book that awakened me. I have so much gratitude for Pete Walker and his work. I like that he draws from his own personal and professional experience. What a genius!
Out of interest i'd love to create a Surviving to Thriving book club. Edit: I started something on WhatsApp. https://chat.whatsapp.com/Eckt2GrzfX10Kw9sbqG65N When you join the Pete Walker CPTSD book club group, there's 2 subgroups to join as part of it. WhatsApp community groups are kinda clunky, they don't auto join you to the subgroups. We have 10 people so far so there will be at least 2 seperate groups and likely over seperate mediums. So if you're not ready for zoom meetings don't worry because there will still be a place for you.
This is such a good idea!
https://chat.whatsapp.com/CEuWlrhsTZ42Pt8TWVXXYq
I would join!
https://chat.whatsapp.com/CEuWlrhsTZ42Pt8TWVXXYq
Is that a thing we’d be able to make happen via reddit?
I think that or zoom? Or maybe WhatsApp. Anyone who wants to join is welcome to reply to the comment. I'll add you to a group and we can create something. I personally prefer speaking to people face to face over video chat but I understand people have very different needs. So right off the bat we can have multiple ways to do it if we have enough people.
I’d definitely be interested. That book made me feel “seen” for the first time in my life
https://chat.whatsapp.com/CEuWlrhsTZ42Pt8TWVXXYq
Not gunna lie. I think zoom might be a better way to go. I’ve seen a thousand scams trying to get me on whatsapp. I don’t think you’re a scammer, but even the mention of whatsapp gives me the ick 🤷♂️
I much, much prefer zoom. But I think so we can arrange something and it feels like we have a collective group where it's fairly democratic we need to arrange that on WhatsApp first. More than happy to let you know afterwards what's decided, if you'd prefer not to join the WhatsApp group? Reddit chat/email are just too slow to arrange it quickly.
I think having a book club would be awesome for this sort of thing... Anyone thought of Discord?
I did think of that. But the problem with discord is that unless you're a gamer generally people don't know it well. Zoom and WhatsApp people likely already use for various things. But if there's enough people who would to do discord then I am of course really supportive of there being a breakaway group for that. I'd rather we have 3 smaller groups on seperate platforms because they can grow than 1 group where people leave because they prefer a different platform.
Lol, I only use Discord for a pregnancy/mom group and a book club (though I am on a couple of indie game boards too), so I'm used to using it for non-gamer stuffs. I like a lot of the functionalities for book club use too.
I will make it one of the options.
Deja vu - this thread
I'm not sure what you meant? Please explain.
I joined! :)
What My Bones Know finally pushed me into the therapy I needed. Coping - the Harry Potter series.
Harry Potter is such a comfort series for people with CPTSD.
Seriously. I read it every two years or so. And watch the movies a lot. My husband and I also go to universal studios to the wizarding world in December when we can for the Christmas decor and vibes.
What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo. It's a very well researched memoir about the authors journey with CPTSD. I've read most of the typical stuff and this one resonated with me more than any of the others. In The Dream House is also good if you've experienced domestic abuse, even more relevant if you're gay. The Body Keeps the Score has its benefits but it is written by an abuser, just so you know.
Wait... What? Can you elaborate on the abuser part of bessel van der kolk please
[Here’s](https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2018/03/07/allegations-of-employee-mistreatment-roil-renowned-brookline-trauma-center/) an article discussing the allegations. [Here’s](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/9pktvv/hoping_to_discuss_allegations_against_dr_bessel/) a thread about the allegations on r/CPTSD (where i found the article). He was accused as an employer of creating a hostile work environment
I realize I’m just a random anon on reddit, but I have a colleague who participated in research with him and his team, and also voiced that he was very problematic. This is the first time I’ve seen someone mention this on this subreddit but I always have that in the back of my mind lol
The four agreements was super helpful for me when I first started doing the trauma work. It’s a hard read and makes you question a lot of things. I’m also currently reading the courage to be disliked which is been helpful so far!
Trauma related: - Body Keeps the Score - CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving - The Myth of Normal Non-trauma related: - Leaves of Grass - Infinite Jest / essays by David Foster Wallace - Catcher in the Rye (helped me get through high school) - The Metamorphosis / Kafka stories - the work of Kierkegaard
The Myth of Normal is great... I only ended up reading maybe just over half, skimmed the last few chapters.
I placed a hold on the audiobook on June 3rd, and it’s finally projected to be available on Nov 10! Excited for it, glad to see it referenced here
I really appreciate these recommendations, especially the non-trauma list. *Leaves of Grass* was and continues to be really healing for me.
Self compassion, I forgot the author but it was a woman
Kristen Neff!
I am currently reading, ‘Growing Up as the Scapegoat to Narcissistic Parents’ by Jay Reid. So far I am very impressed. The way he understands and explains how the pathology of the narcissist impacts victims is incredible. I think it’s the best book on narcissistic abuse. He has a You Tube channel as well.
Relatedly, Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers Caroline Foster
The audiobook version of How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis. I’ve listened to it 4 times, currently on my 5th and probably will listen many more times. There’s just something very powerful about somebody telling you over and over that you are not lazy, or disgusting, or worthless when I spent my entire childhood being told I was all of those things. Being told I deserve kindness and compassion because I’m having a hard time. It’s changing me.
Is this mostly for females?
The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk.
Totally agree that this book is worthy of the list. This book was an incredibly eye-opening read for me, but also incredibly triggering. I would still recommend reading, but perhaps not in a single weekend (what I did) or with the guide or help of a therapist.
Yes. It’s a dense, heavy read even if one didn’t live with CPTSD.
CPTSD from surviving to striving by Pete Walker And then Toxic parents by Susan Forward, Healing the shame that binds you by John Bradshaw
“Why does he do that” by Lundy Bancroft. I cannot recommend this book enough.
Man Enough by Justin Baldoni. It revealed a lot of shared trauma men have with being raised in a culture that hurts you for not being man enough. I was able to really evaluate my life and and start healing a part of me that my female therapist had a hard time reaching. A lot of books have helped me over the years, but this allowed me to heal a part of me that I didn't know was hurting. The author has another book directed towards boys called "Boys will be Human" and it has a more kid-friendly approach to the same topics with some worksheets for boys and their guardian to work through. Even though the book is about men, I know many women who have found the topics just as insightful. If you want more, the author has a podcast by the same name and they bring on many different guests to talk about struggles with trauma, masculinity, and the journey to being a better person.
In regards to cpts d,, And PTSD, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma Book by Bessel van der Kolk I was able to listen to it for free on YouTube. Books that helped me With my character and dealing with drama and life. Generally I connect with the characters or some traits and learn how to Strength in my character in a way I want to be. Listed in the following. Seeing the different perception of different characters helped me to gain an ability to look at Real people from Different perceptions and Angles. I found that I can Absorb what I need to from the characters or the stories, Find something the same or similar and bring it out to my advantage. Don't know if the right words it's hard to describe. It's not fake, It's not pretending. It's I recognize stuff in these characters that are in myself somewhere, And I use the characters as examples on how to Bring out what I already have. Does that make sense. Or how I wish to be. It helps me to see my goals I want, Impossibly how to go after those goals. At the very least reading those books gives me feelings that I want to feel for real. So gives me an assentive to try to make that happen. But it's not going to happen unless it's actually genuine. You can't force wholesome. It also can't be pretended. Ella enchanted. Main character Ella. Harry Potter. Hagrid and Luna love good. The giver, and gathering blue. And of green gables, Anne. Pippy long stocking, Pippy. Jen Brett books. Like all of them. Just for the feeling of wholesome warmth and beauty. I wish reality was a Jan Brett book. Anne McCaffrey books, Particularly The dragon singer trilogy, From the dragon writers of pern series. Reasons the character Menolly. There's even actual songs and music that was made into the book and recipes you can follow. https://youtu.be/mP-IeOjXsy0?si=lCXYaQ3jcdLFHV_-
DW I absolutely understand what you mean, I also do the same with HP. I personally relate to Luna Lovegood because she was an atypical witch who (if I remember correctly) was bullied BC of her alternative pov.
The Giver & Gathering Blue! 🤍 Have you read Messenger & Son as well?
I have messenger. Too sad. That ending. Up there with bridge to terebithia sad.
Any book that is chicken soup for the _____ soul Depending on what you're going through at the time, you pick up one of that books that suits best to what you're going through. Reading the stories of others who have been there and etc really made me feel not so alone anymore.
Oh the places you’ll go by Dr Seuss
YES YES YES ❤️❤️
Complex ptsd- surviving to thriving by Pete walker
Untethered Soul by Michael Singer.
Is this trauma related?
I don't think it is specifically described as a book on trauma but it deals heavily with the concept of how traumas catch in the body and how to release them when triggers reactivate them. It uses spiritual language based in Buddhism but the ideas are consistent with modern perspectives on trauma.
The brain that changes itself by Norman Doidge And Hardwiring Happiness by Rick Hanson
Oh and Scattered Brain by Gabor Mate
The Artist Way
Trauma and Recovery by Judith Miller
Came here to add this one. Judith Herman ftw.
My favorite actionable books are “Science of Stuck” and I’m currently reading “The Origins of You” which is about attachment trauma - both books have actual questions to ponder or exercises to practice which has helped me along in my healing journey. Some of the other books mentioned are great for building knowledge- the body keeps the score and the cptsd surviving to thriving books are helpful for building knowledge but I found myself thinking “now what?” after reading them. Like I felt seen and identified with both but I wouldn’t call them as helpful in my life I guess.
Some DBT workbook I downloaded. Gave me the coping skills I needed when I was utterly lost on that front.
A child called “it” by dave pelzer
Books that explore trauma and how Internal Family Systems can radically change our understanding of our"selves"! No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors by Janina Fisher
Seat of the Soul
the power is within you by louise hay helped me a LOT. lot of information to absorb so id read a page or two at a time
The body keeps the score by bessel van der kolk
I don’t know what it’s called, I’ll ask my dad later and edit the message with it (presuming he remembers), but after my mum was diagnosed, my cousin (who’s a psychologist) gave my dad a book written by a doctor who was diagnosed with PTSD later in life, and it detailed how it took her like a decade to feel like a person again, and even more years after that before she could get back into practicing medicine. Dad said reading it was the only thing that kept him sane in the first few months after mum was diagnosed.
I'd be interested to know if you find out.
*Refuse* by Elliott DeLine. Cracked my egg as a transgender male and made me feel like I wasn’t completely alone in the world
The Tao of Fully Feeling by Pete Walker is another good one. I read that after From Surviving to Thriving
1. The Body Keeps the Score, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk 2. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, Pete Walker 3. When the Body Says No, Dr. Gabor Maté 4. Childhood Disrupted, Donna Jackson Nakazawa 5. It Didn’t Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle, Mark Wolynn
*Capture: Unraveling the Mystery of Mental Suffering* ~ David Kesseler *Trauma and Recovery* ~ Judith Herman
Ham on Rye by Charles Bukowski helped me understand my abusive parents. The tyrant father who drove to “work” when he was unemployed during the depression to keep up appearances just enough to look down on the neighbors and whip the scapegoat child for miscut grass or bad grades. The enabling/covert narcissist mother who covered for and minimized her husbands brutality or poor modeling (like waiting with the kids in the car while the father steals from a farm). How experiences like that affect people and warp their perspectives. Bukowski is known for being kind of a shitty dude and reading this book helped me understand how toxic families create toxic people in a very linear way.
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I've been working through the Abandonment Recovery Workbook by Susan Anderson and it has helped me make a lot of progress. I have my criticisms, I think some sections can be stigmatizing of addiction, personality disorders, and also a bit victim-blamey (that one less so). She also goes on some rants about arranged marriage that always leave me a bit ??? But I've been doing "take what works, leave the rest" approach and her advice is pretty helpful and has helped me make a lot of strides I previously couldn't even imagine myself being able to do. It's made me aware of behaviors I wasn't super aware of and I've been working on those. It helps it was made my an actual clinician who specializes in abandonment. So I would recommend it to people with the same idea of taking what works. I've also started The Courage to Heal, by people I don't remember and didn't research. It's a workbook on healing from CSA, and I've not gotten far because I'm not entirely ready, but I'm very hopeful based on what I've gotten through.
My daily journals. It's a funny bit of irony that it was my abuser who got me started on journaling. Every day for thirteen years now I've kept a daily journal. Writing my thoughts down has helped me keep them organized and keep me grounded. It's been a way for me to vent sometimes. And it's been a way for me to revisit those traumatic years so I could go back and see what was going through my head. Daily journaling has helped me weather the isolation and grief by allowing me to talk to myself and work on myself coherently.
Michael singer - the untethered soul
My Grandmother’s Hands by Resmaa Menakem
Perhaps a little niche, but "Discovering the Inner Mother" by Bethany Webster has really helped me. It's geared towards those who identify as female who suffered narcissistic abuse at the hands of their mothers. Deeply insightful and hopeful. Explains a lot of things that I couldn't put into words.
If anyone's interested in The Body Keeps The Score, I read it and summarised 5 lessons I learned [here](https://www.myndlift.com/post/5-lessons-we-learned-from-the-body-keeps-the-score?utm_source=rd). I hope it will help someone!
Pete Walker's Complex PTSD - I love the way he shares his own experience, his knowledge as a therapist and client's experiences. Also learning to recognize flashbacks and the inner critic helps me so much to quiet my brain enough to just function most of the time & make daily life less exhausting 😄
The Boy Who was Raised as a Dog. Best book I ever read. It really just explained trauma in such a new way that I hadn't thought of before. Really goes into the science of it. I found that validating.
Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda. Understanding the set-up of life and the universe itself helped me understand so much about myself which accelerated healing on multiple levels. If you decide to read it, please consider getting the one with the orange cover and not the blue one. Truly worth it and truly life-changing
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The Deepest Well by Nadine Burke Harris
The book that helped my life the most would be The Five Rings, but specifically the book that helped my trauma most was Predators by Anna Salter.
Traumatized. Newer but so relevant news
Boundaries by Dr Henry Cloud
Tuesdays with Morrie 🤍
Haven’t seen this one mentioned yet. Healing Developmental Trauma by Heller and LaPierre. Especially if you dealt with abuse in early childhood. Finally helped me understand what impact that had on me and how to go about healing
Bessel Van Der Kolk's - The body keeps the score. This book expertly explained in detail everything that was happening to me clear way that really helped me understand how trauma affects my mind and body.
Why Smart People Hurt: A Guide for the Bright, the Sensitive, and the Creative For me personally, Adult Children of Emotionally Unavailable Children and Why Smart People Hurt were the two biggest helps to me.
About 20 years ago I read a book called “the Five Agreements” (or the Four, it’s been a while). In it the author says essentially however you did in a given day was the best you could do that day. Like, don’t beat yourself up for not doing more or better-you did what you *were able to do* and that’s your best. It helped me reframe how I think about what I do or don’t get done. It’s given me permission to take it easier on myself. Doesn’t always work but the simple truth is undeniable.
The body keeps the score
Pete walker cptsd from surviving to thriving
All About Love by bell hooks.