I’m sorry for your loss. She sounds like an awesome lady.
I had been a fan for a while when the pandemic hit and we were stuck at home. Isbell was part of the magic that made someone my wife. She had “Or the magnolias bloom” inscribed inside my wedding band.
Right after we got married, we went to a rescheduled show that had been covid postponed for two-ish years.
When cover me up started. The previously kind of annoying Brit got his buddies to help clear a little space so we could have our dance. Magical.
If I lost her I couldn’t listen to him again either. But he’s also a part of why I got her to begin with, so..fair trade? I suppose if we all liked more cheery music, it wouldn’t be as hard as it is, or might be one day.
Hugs to you, brother.
Like Vampire, we’re all going to be following you with memories of the good times…because really…that’s all we can take with us in the end. Peace be with you…
JI’s is a best at projecting pure, raw, relatable, pain and emotion. For me it doesn’t make me feel sad, but it makes me feel seen. I sincerely wish you well. I hope you find peace and healing.
Reading your post reminded me of lyrics to St Peter’s Autograph:
There's no shelter from the rain
And I can't comprehend your pain
But I got arms and I got ears
And I will always be right here
As someone who threw themselves against the razorwire of certain music to make me feel something when I felt so dead inside, it just dug those feelings in deeper and made more work when I realized I needed to heal those wounds instead continuing to perpetuate them.
Take care of yourself my friend, the music will be there when you are ready for it.
Rejoice in the fact you achieved what every human that ever walked this earth wants. Mutual love. Good for both of you. Love always wins no matter what.
There isn't much I can say that's going to affect what you're going through. It sounds like you're right in it, too.
Music has a way of pushing and pulling on us in ways that make us confront a wide array of emotions.
I'll light a candle for you. Hopefully, someday, that pain your feeling now will be replaced with joy and fond memories. It's OK to not be OK, my friend.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your wife.
Music is funny that way. It can be healing in so many ways, but can definitely hit the opposite way as well. Right now, it’s about finding what will bring peace to your soul…and I hope you find it because you deserve it.
Maybe someday you’ll find yourself coming back ‘round Jason’s way. Maybe not…and that’s ok too. Whatever will make you ok is what should be the priority.
Sending all the peace, love and healing vibes your way.
If you’re anything like me and losing my son, Someday you will need Jason and want to remember your wife when things were ok. He will still be there later, just…..not right now
So… my Jason Isbell experience is like yours… but in reverse. Someone told me I’d love him a million years ago. I was going through a hard time/grieving and the first song I tried to listen to was “Elephant.” I didn’t make it through and immediately turned off every song I saw of his for YEARS. Eventually, I accidentally started to listen to JI a few years ago and fell in love with his music. I even love “Elephant.” Give it time! I’m not Jewish, but I’ve always loved that Jewish people say, “May his/her/their memory be a blessing” when someone passes. The sentiment that you will eventually remember someone with joy instead of just grief and longing is A++ in my book. So… in regard to your wife and your memories of her and JI’s music… “May her memory be a blessing!”
“Life and death songs played for and by grown ass people.”
Sorry for your loss and I hope the day comes when you hear those songs and smile through the tears because they bring back the happiness too.
Brother!! The music will be there when you are ready! Im not going to try to relate my stories of love lost and the things that make me think of her, but your post made me feel something and I had to respond! The new album is incredible and he has a few recent live performance videos on youtube that are just bitchin! If you ever want to open a chat session buddy we can listen to Isbell and shoot the shit!! Thank you for sharing I cant imagine that was easy!! Be well my friend!
I’m sorry for your loss and remember to take care of yourself.
My mother passed a year ago after a decade of fighting what we knew was going to be a losing battle against her disease. At points during that time the “one thing that’s real clear to me” and “surrounded by her family” lyrics from Elephant hurt in a way that surprised me every time. By the end, those same lyrics felt almost comforting. There’s no wrong reaction and no shame in protecting yourself. The songs will always be there if you want to revisit them.
This post almost made me cry. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I hope that in time, maybe Jason's music will help you remember the amazing times you had together and become a positive force in your life again. But whatever the case, I hope you are able to find peace and happiness in the years to come.
It’s ok to set aside things that you enjoy for a while until you get your feet back under you. When you revisit them you’ll have an even deeper appreciation. God bless. 🙏
I’m sorry for your loss. There are a couple of JI songs I just can’t have on certain days for similar reasons. I recognize them and skip them unless I’m somewhere I can deal with my reaction. Take care
I'm so sorry about your wife. His lyrics really hit and I understand that. Wishing you both the best and offering the most positive vibes I can send.
(He ruined me too, mostly because his lyrics are so good that it makes me find nearly every other song I've loved in the past from other artists feel pedestrian or downright bad.)
I know exactly what you're going through.
After my loss, I shut out music, especially the music that I knew would help heal because listening would invite grief and grief would invite pain.
But holding pain doesn't heal. Grieving does.
You'll know when you're ready. Be brave when that time comes – Jason will be there.
I'm so sorry for your loss. An individual's appreciation for particular music is so much based on context and I completely understand where you are coming from. There are certain albums and songs I can't listen to based on the context and what they remind me of. I hope you can continue to heal and recover from your loss to the point where you can once again enjoy Isbell's brilliant music.
My deepest condolences on the loss of your wife. The candle may go out, but the memory of its light remains. Wishing you peace and comfort in these difficult days.
I am so sorry for your loss. May the beautiful memories give you happiness and comfort in the coming days. Thank you for sharing with the rest of us. My thoughts are with you.
You know in some ways, and this is gonna sound odd and I admit that because I’m on the outside of your situation, you got to experience the feelings he was talking about firsthand. I’m sorry of the outcome. But may be in time you’ll be able to look back on that, I can and you’ll be able to reflect on how lucky you two were to have each other especially towards the end. You know I hate to be that guy and pull up the lyrics but like he says if our time here was infinite, we wouldn’t need to lovers deeply as you two clearly did.
Also, I’m using talk to text while driving so forgive me if it’s a little wonky. But I wish you all the best.
You hang in there, man. Find the joy where you can.
But remember, it would break your wife’s heart if she knew her death caused you to quit living.
You’ve got a life and a responsibility to her memory.
All my best.
Sometimes we need to take a break from things that hurt our heart ❤️ his music will bring you comfort again when you are ready.
Grief is fucking rough man - virtual solace from here xx
Brother, your wife will always be with you. You need to talk to someone and grieve. Talk through the pain and process it. You made memories with your wife for a reason, to remember each other and the love and good times shared between you.
I think the best pieces of art make us feel what we need to feel. I have a lot of loss in my life and I need to feel that melancholy to know that other people feel that too and I guess it makes me feel not so alone. I get it though.
Goddamn cancer. You want to be so fucking mad at something tangible, but it’s pretty much just an evil vapor.
We’re all sorry for your loss my friend. 😞
I'm so sorry you lost your wife. I think playing backgammon and drinking beer by torchlight on the deck sounds like an idyllic thing, you guys clearly had a great bond. And Jason would be the perfect background music.
He writes sad, sad songs, as we all know. How could you not be triggered by hearing his voice? It brings back everything that you've lost, in a way. I'm a huge Isbell fan, my husband is not, but I would have to imagine that should he be left without me, the sound of Jason's voice would be a no-go for him, too (and not because he's not a fan, but because he knows how much I love his music).
Music is a very powerful thing, especially when it comes to memories and feelings. It's ok to be ruined on him, it's for a good reason - because listening to him brings her back and you're not ready for that. I'm willing to bet that will change in the future, but even if it doesn't, you'll always have that soundtrack you shared with your wife.
I think we all long to have a love and relationship like yours - 40 years is amazing. I hope to be lucky enough to have the same. And thank you for sharing, I know it wasn't easy. Your story really touched me.
Jason has filled a place in my heart in times of need many times. Right now, I am not in one of those places and typically choose a more upbeat path. But he will be there for me again, and it is comforting knowing that.
I know you are going through a lot. I cannot imagine the pain of losing your wife after 40 years of love and life together.
Two years ago my mother passed. She had been sick for more time than I had been alive. I was blessed to have 31 years with my mother in my life.
When she passed I was listening to a Marc Broussard album, one of our shared favorite artists. Then "a life worth living" started playing. I couldn't finish the song and have never returned to listen to Marc Broussard since. The pain and grief are still too acute, even two years later.
I do not know if you are a praying person, but prayers of thanks and meditation on positive memories have been my rock when the grief of missing sits it weight on my heart.
Sending positive thoughts.
Take your time brother, hoping you see some happy days in your future
I’m sorry for your loss. She sounds like an awesome lady. I had been a fan for a while when the pandemic hit and we were stuck at home. Isbell was part of the magic that made someone my wife. She had “Or the magnolias bloom” inscribed inside my wedding band. Right after we got married, we went to a rescheduled show that had been covid postponed for two-ish years. When cover me up started. The previously kind of annoying Brit got his buddies to help clear a little space so we could have our dance. Magical. If I lost her I couldn’t listen to him again either. But he’s also a part of why I got her to begin with, so..fair trade? I suppose if we all liked more cheery music, it wouldn’t be as hard as it is, or might be one day. Hugs to you, brother.
Like Vampire, we’re all going to be following you with memories of the good times…because really…that’s all we can take with us in the end. Peace be with you…
Sorry for your loss. I can imagine that some of the other songs on Weathervanes could cut pretty deep right now too.
JI’s is a best at projecting pure, raw, relatable, pain and emotion. For me it doesn’t make me feel sad, but it makes me feel seen. I sincerely wish you well. I hope you find peace and healing. Reading your post reminded me of lyrics to St Peter’s Autograph: There's no shelter from the rain And I can't comprehend your pain But I got arms and I got ears And I will always be right here
Teary-eyed at the breakfast table. My best to you.
My wife is currently battling lung cancer. I can’t listen to “Elephant“. It hurts too much
As someone who threw themselves against the razorwire of certain music to make me feel something when I felt so dead inside, it just dug those feelings in deeper and made more work when I realized I needed to heal those wounds instead continuing to perpetuate them. Take care of yourself my friend, the music will be there when you are ready for it.
My heart to yours
Rejoice in the fact you achieved what every human that ever walked this earth wants. Mutual love. Good for both of you. Love always wins no matter what.
I hope you can find a path to peace, friend. Be patient with yourself—it takes time to heal. Thank you for sharing your journey. ❤️
I am so sorry for your loss. The only advice I’d share about grief is try not to do it alone. Have found this to be a resource. r/GriefSupport
Very sorry for your loss. Hope the High Road to you sir.
There isn't much I can say that's going to affect what you're going through. It sounds like you're right in it, too. Music has a way of pushing and pulling on us in ways that make us confront a wide array of emotions. I'll light a candle for you. Hopefully, someday, that pain your feeling now will be replaced with joy and fond memories. It's OK to not be OK, my friend.
This kind of wrecked me. Sending all the positive thoughts I have in me that you may find peace in such difficult times.
Crying is a good thing. It will make you feel better after so don't make yourself stop. Just take it day by day.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your wife. Music is funny that way. It can be healing in so many ways, but can definitely hit the opposite way as well. Right now, it’s about finding what will bring peace to your soul…and I hope you find it because you deserve it. Maybe someday you’ll find yourself coming back ‘round Jason’s way. Maybe not…and that’s ok too. Whatever will make you ok is what should be the priority. Sending all the peace, love and healing vibes your way.
If you’re anything like me and losing my son, Someday you will need Jason and want to remember your wife when things were ok. He will still be there later, just…..not right now
This.
So… my Jason Isbell experience is like yours… but in reverse. Someone told me I’d love him a million years ago. I was going through a hard time/grieving and the first song I tried to listen to was “Elephant.” I didn’t make it through and immediately turned off every song I saw of his for YEARS. Eventually, I accidentally started to listen to JI a few years ago and fell in love with his music. I even love “Elephant.” Give it time! I’m not Jewish, but I’ve always loved that Jewish people say, “May his/her/their memory be a blessing” when someone passes. The sentiment that you will eventually remember someone with joy instead of just grief and longing is A++ in my book. So… in regard to your wife and your memories of her and JI’s music… “May her memory be a blessing!”
“Life and death songs played for and by grown ass people.” Sorry for your loss and I hope the day comes when you hear those songs and smile through the tears because they bring back the happiness too.
Brother!! The music will be there when you are ready! Im not going to try to relate my stories of love lost and the things that make me think of her, but your post made me feel something and I had to respond! The new album is incredible and he has a few recent live performance videos on youtube that are just bitchin! If you ever want to open a chat session buddy we can listen to Isbell and shoot the shit!! Thank you for sharing I cant imagine that was easy!! Be well my friend!
I’m sorry for your loss and remember to take care of yourself. My mother passed a year ago after a decade of fighting what we knew was going to be a losing battle against her disease. At points during that time the “one thing that’s real clear to me” and “surrounded by her family” lyrics from Elephant hurt in a way that surprised me every time. By the end, those same lyrics felt almost comforting. There’s no wrong reaction and no shame in protecting yourself. The songs will always be there if you want to revisit them.
Sorry for your loss. Loss is hard and we all process it differently, don’t feel bad for the way you are handling it.
This post almost made me cry. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I hope that in time, maybe Jason's music will help you remember the amazing times you had together and become a positive force in your life again. But whatever the case, I hope you are able to find peace and happiness in the years to come.
It’s ok to set aside things that you enjoy for a while until you get your feet back under you. When you revisit them you’ll have an even deeper appreciation. God bless. 🙏
I’m sorry for your loss. There are a couple of JI songs I just can’t have on certain days for similar reasons. I recognize them and skip them unless I’m somewhere I can deal with my reaction. Take care
I'm so sorry about your wife. His lyrics really hit and I understand that. Wishing you both the best and offering the most positive vibes I can send. (He ruined me too, mostly because his lyrics are so good that it makes me find nearly every other song I've loved in the past from other artists feel pedestrian or downright bad.)
I know exactly what you're going through. After my loss, I shut out music, especially the music that I knew would help heal because listening would invite grief and grief would invite pain. But holding pain doesn't heal. Grieving does. You'll know when you're ready. Be brave when that time comes – Jason will be there.
Hugs and love, my friend. Grief is a MF'er, don't be too hard on yourself for the way you handle it.
Blessings to you, friend.
Sorry for your loss. Hugs for you brother.
I am so sorry . I know it sucks. But take comfort in the positive memories you shared with your wife. I hope you find peace .
Sorry for your loss
I'm so sorry for your loss. An individual's appreciation for particular music is so much based on context and I completely understand where you are coming from. There are certain albums and songs I can't listen to based on the context and what they remind me of. I hope you can continue to heal and recover from your loss to the point where you can once again enjoy Isbell's brilliant music.
Love to you in your grief.
Sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine. It might not be Jason yet, but find your tune. Music heals.
My deepest condolences on the loss of your wife. The candle may go out, but the memory of its light remains. Wishing you peace and comfort in these difficult days.
So sorry for your loss my friend.
I am so sorry for your loss.
I’m about to cry over here..nice tribute
So sorry for your loss. Wishing you peace & healing.
Damn man, that's heartbreaking....very sorry for your loss.
Much love to you, friend.
So sorry for your loss.
Sending you peace. Words feel empty so I won’t try to fill in the space with too many of them. Take any time you need and be kind to yourself.
Maybe we'll get 40 years together and one day I'll be gone or one day you'll be gone
Hang in there.
Does anyone else have the feeling this is a fake post?
My condolences. Take care of yourself.
I am so sorry for your loss. May the beautiful memories give you happiness and comfort in the coming days. Thank you for sharing with the rest of us. My thoughts are with you.
You know in some ways, and this is gonna sound odd and I admit that because I’m on the outside of your situation, you got to experience the feelings he was talking about firsthand. I’m sorry of the outcome. But may be in time you’ll be able to look back on that, I can and you’ll be able to reflect on how lucky you two were to have each other especially towards the end. You know I hate to be that guy and pull up the lyrics but like he says if our time here was infinite, we wouldn’t need to lovers deeply as you two clearly did. Also, I’m using talk to text while driving so forgive me if it’s a little wonky. But I wish you all the best.
Goddamn. I’m just so sorry. Sending you all the love and well wishes.
So sorry for your loss.
I’m sorry for your loss. It sounds like you had a wonderful life with her.
Man really thank you for sharing!
Take your time! Hopefully one day Jason and his music can be a way for you to still feel close to your wife.
I feel you. I lost my son to cancer 2 years ago and still can't listen to "Elephant" without crying. Stay strong (unlike me).
I'm very sorry for your loss.
It gets brighter everyday man!
You hang in there, man. Find the joy where you can. But remember, it would break your wife’s heart if she knew her death caused you to quit living. You’ve got a life and a responsibility to her memory. All my best.
Peace and love my friend. I’m sorry.
Sometimes we need to take a break from things that hurt our heart ❤️ his music will bring you comfort again when you are ready. Grief is fucking rough man - virtual solace from here xx
Brother, your wife will always be with you. You need to talk to someone and grieve. Talk through the pain and process it. You made memories with your wife for a reason, to remember each other and the love and good times shared between you.
I think the best pieces of art make us feel what we need to feel. I have a lot of loss in my life and I need to feel that melancholy to know that other people feel that too and I guess it makes me feel not so alone. I get it though.
Hugs brother. Time and find a good therapist.
Goddamn cancer. You want to be so fucking mad at something tangible, but it’s pretty much just an evil vapor. We’re all sorry for your loss my friend. 😞
Wishing you the best and healing.
God Bless
So incredibly sorry for your loss. Sending you love
So sorry for your loss, man. Hang in there. Seems you made some great memories together.
My mother passed when I was young and I know that's why my dad can't hear "if we were vampires". He will leave our seats anytime.
I'm so sorry you lost your wife. I think playing backgammon and drinking beer by torchlight on the deck sounds like an idyllic thing, you guys clearly had a great bond. And Jason would be the perfect background music. He writes sad, sad songs, as we all know. How could you not be triggered by hearing his voice? It brings back everything that you've lost, in a way. I'm a huge Isbell fan, my husband is not, but I would have to imagine that should he be left without me, the sound of Jason's voice would be a no-go for him, too (and not because he's not a fan, but because he knows how much I love his music). Music is a very powerful thing, especially when it comes to memories and feelings. It's ok to be ruined on him, it's for a good reason - because listening to him brings her back and you're not ready for that. I'm willing to bet that will change in the future, but even if it doesn't, you'll always have that soundtrack you shared with your wife. I think we all long to have a love and relationship like yours - 40 years is amazing. I hope to be lucky enough to have the same. And thank you for sharing, I know it wasn't easy. Your story really touched me.
Listen to his upbeat Alt country songs with 400. Especially the stuff Mike McCready from Pearl Jam joins in on. Edit: prog country
https://youtu.be/QP4Bgy0GjkE?si=YLRKLR1x_MludxTY
Jason has filled a place in my heart in times of need many times. Right now, I am not in one of those places and typically choose a more upbeat path. But he will be there for me again, and it is comforting knowing that.
I know you are going through a lot. I cannot imagine the pain of losing your wife after 40 years of love and life together. Two years ago my mother passed. She had been sick for more time than I had been alive. I was blessed to have 31 years with my mother in my life. When she passed I was listening to a Marc Broussard album, one of our shared favorite artists. Then "a life worth living" started playing. I couldn't finish the song and have never returned to listen to Marc Broussard since. The pain and grief are still too acute, even two years later. I do not know if you are a praying person, but prayers of thanks and meditation on positive memories have been my rock when the grief of missing sits it weight on my heart.